Turn the Page

Those of you that know me well (or know my writing well enough) could probably tell that something has been going on with me. The previous post merely glanced the surface of all that has been slightly off in my world.

So hold onto your seats, folks...it's truth time!

In the past few months I have made a concentrated effort to put myself and my own sense of well-being at the forefront of my life. Too much time has been spent following the path I've either been led down or felt obligated to tread. In taking back the control I felt was missing, I found myself facing several decisions that would affect my life drastically and I'll admit it... it was terrifying. From someone who rarely enters into unfamiliar territory without a big, bright, shining spotlight leading the way, the thought of veering entirely away from the route I've spent the past sixteen years of my life following was uncomfortable. But also indescribably exhilarating.

I was forced to confront the unanswered questions and decide what I wanted. And when I finished wrestling with my demons (nasty little buggers...) and leaning heavily on my friends, I began to see that a new direction was not only an actual possibility, but a chance at a new life. After the months of struggling, questioning, and slogging through the motions of everyday living, reaching the decision to take this plunge seemed to ignite a karmic set of events that I am still stunned by and grateful for.

Here's the triple whammy: I have resigned from the very job that sent me to Jersey in the first place. I am remaining in the tri-state area to further explore all it has to offer...I'm not that easily beaten up. I have accepted, and already begun, a position in a company that is a 180 degree turn from everything I've ever thought I wanted, studied or aimed for.

You still with me? Good.

My days are now filled with new challenges that awaken the mind I didn't realize had become so bored. The flood of information is ridiculous and I envision myself as a teeny sponge someone dropped into the Atlantic, but I am ecstatic about this chance to stretch my professional wings in an exciting and welcoming field.

Not many people can claim to be 100% happy because it seems we always pine for that one thing to be better, whether it's a paycheck, a relationship, or whatnot. I cannot honestly say that every single aspect of my life is peachy, but I can say that this is the closest I've been to peachy in quite a while. I walk a little taller now, with my head held high and a smile on these lips. I may be a work in progress, but I'm finding my way.

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it. ~Maya Angelou